


Daisy

by orphan_account



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, James proposes For Real This Time, Jordelia, a bit of an angst-fluff rollercoaster, childhood jordelia, the herondale siblings are goals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24279355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The real Jordelia proposal we deserve, and flashbacks to how it happened.
Relationships: Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Daisy" by Zedd and Julia Michaels, and written for an awesome friend of mine- you know who you are! ;) enjoy, my friends!

“My Daisy. My angel.”

James went down onto one knee in the center of the ballroom, looking up at Cordelia. He couldn’t help it, he beamed with all the love he had to give her. His happiness outshone even the summer sun streaming in through the massive windows.

“Daisy, I can’t believe how far we’ve come. Together, you and I have overcome so much. Believe me, I could go on forever about your strength, your resilience. Everything about you I fell in love with. “

Cordelia was crying a little, her face rapturous. Her hand rose up to cover her mouth, and the undeniable jubilation in her face was almost too much for James. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and lift his Daisy off the ground and never let go, but there was an important question that he needed to ask first.

James, unable to contain a gentle laugh, looked down at the floor. He brought his gaze back up to Cordelia’s, and whispered, with nothing but trust and light in his eyes, “Cordelia Carstairs. My love, will you marry me?”

She laughed, the sound too bright hold back this time, and dropped down to where he was still kneeling on the marble, with his Herondale ring out once again- and in the best circumstances, this time. Only his Daisy would completely disregard the state of her dress during such a magical moment, and he loved her for it all the more.

James couldn’t wait any longer, he threw his arms around her neck and kissed her, deep and long. Cordelia pulled away an inch, leaving her arms draped around his waist, and bumped her nose with his.

“I haven’t even said yes,” she teased, the mischievous spark in her eyes twinkling.

“The glow of your joy is answer enough,” James said, and kissed her again.

“So poetic.”

“You love it.”

“I love _you_ ,” she murmured in between kisses.

James just pulled her closer, and they stood there for a moment pressed up against each other, James’s head buried in Cordelia’s hair.

————————————————————

Later that evening, they had a loud and comfortable dinner where they’d announced their engagement, prompting excessive joking about “The _last_ time our James and Daisy were married,” and a well- _intended_ , but massively catastrophic toast from Christopher in which he very nearly downed a laboratory sample rather than champagne.

The chaos was comfort, but the couple escaped to their quiet place in the Institute after dinner- a nook in the giant library concealed by heavy velvet curtains and a maze of bookshelves. More than just a tranquil spot for them, this was where they’d found peace and happiness within themselves in the midst of so much darkness. It carried special meaning.

It was where Cordelia had told James she loved him.

That night, as he and Cordelia leaned into each other, dozing off while the moonlight filtered in through the large library windows, they remembered. The good moments, and the bad. Everything that led them to where they were now…

————————————————————

_daisy, always climbing up the same tree_  
_finding love in all the wrong scenes, Daisy, you got me_

Since childhood, Cordelia found within herself an affinity for diving headfirst into situations she wasn’t always completely prepared for.

Case in point: Once when she was young, young enough that the Herondales would still regularly visit, Cordelia found James stuck in a tree. Literally, stuck. He’d climbed up higher than he should have, trying to find a calm place to read, and the branches he was balancing on were too fragile to support even the smallest weight shift.

Rather than immediately getting help, Cordelia decided, in all the heroic glory of an eleven-year-old Shadowhunter still training with wooden swords, that she would come to the rescue.

It went as well as one might expect. A few short minutes later, there was not just one, but two Shadowhunters awkwardly crouched in the three.

Cordelia, growing bored, decided she’d actually try to make conversation with James, though she didn’t know him very well. He was rather shy, and slinked away gracelessly whenever the opportunity came to speak with him.

“What made you think _this_ was a good spot to hide away in?” she inquired, squinting up at him through branches and leaves.

Some time passed in silence. Then, a gruff voice, and the sound of a page turning.“Why did you come up here, then, if you’re so wise about safe hiding spots?”

That answer came naturally to Cordelia. “I want to be a hero one day,” she said simply.

“And this seemed like a good place to start?” Oh, the amusement in his voice was maddening. 

Hands on her hips- a trick she’d picked up from Lucie- Cordelia retorted, “I will have you know, _James_ , I wouldn’t be here in the first place if it wasn’t for your poor decisi-”

Suddenly, James lost his balance, his book flying down and hitting the ground with a soft thud in the manicured grass. A split second before he could recover, the flimsy branch he’d been steadying his arm on snapped.

Thoughts of a witty reply to James’ snark flew from Cordelia’s mind. All she could think about was getting to him, now wide-eyed and dangling precariously. Climbing as high as she dared, Cordelia extended a hand to James. Breathing hard, he took it, and she helped him ease his way onto lower ground.

Once they were steady, James and Cordelia looked at each other, panting, and burst out into laughter.

“We,” sniggered James, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes, “are still stuck up here, despite your… ambitious attempt at a dramatic rescue.”

Offended, Cordelia gasped, playing up the charade. “ _Attempt_? Sir, I just saved your life. Where’s your gratitude? _No manners_ ,” she added under her breath, pleased to get a chuckle from him in response.

To her surprise, James didn’t shoot back a clever remark. He smiled, instead, and said, “Thank you, Daisy. I do believe that’s the second time you’ve saved a Herondale.”

“Yes, I suppose it is,” said Cordelia, her gaze fixed on the autumn foliage before them. Turning abruptly to James, she asked, “What do you suggest we do to get down? I have a future parabatai whose imagination needs to be fed.”

————————————————————

_daisy, always walking down the wrong streets  
starting fires out of dead weeds, daisy, you got me_

James had been so naive. He’d always wondered, what did it mean, that Cordelia was willing to follow him into shadows they might never have returned from? That she bravely fought for him with boundless, glowing emotion?

But this, _this_ was something else entirely. Sacrificing her reputation would have no small consequence. He understood courage in death- at least that brought glory, and remembrance. A legacy for a hero. This sacrifice, and for James, of all people, meant Cordelia was ready to put James’ happiness before her own.

The night they were first engaged, James lay awake, wondering what reason she could possibly have to save him over and over and over again.

 _If only someone like_ Cordelia _loved me._

The thought startled him. Where had that come from? James felt a change, a twist in his heart as soon as it appeared in his mind, but he couldn’t chase that thought. Surely it would only lead him down a path even more convoluted than the one he was traveling already.

James didn’t want to think about Cordelia anymore. He squashed the thought of her deep down, and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

After all, he loved Grace.

Grace…

————————————————————

_daisy, always dancing to the same beat_  
_broken records stuck on repeat, daisy, you got me_

That fateful performance at the Ruelle, where James saw Cordelia dance. Really dance. The scarlet waterfall around her shoulders, the eloquence of her speech. The sparking blaze of Cortana outlined the smooth curves of her body, and all James could think of in that moment was how powerful and fearless she seemed.

During the dragging, sleepless nights spent without her, when James was trapped and he couldn’t show Cordelia his love, that was the memory he held onto. The confidence in her femininity and the beauty in her gaze. Something about her had struck a chord in James. His body, his mind, sang back to hers.

When James was prisoner to his own mind, he wasn’t completely alone. He had the image of Cordelia, in her honey-gold glory and light, to keep him company.

After all, she’d saved him from falling into an endless shadow with that light. He had faith it could support him a little longer, while he struggled to get past the wall inside him that somehow managed to keep James from his own self.

Later, they had a name for that wall. It was Grace’s bracelet, an enchantment of love that was anything but loving. James had been right. It was Cordelia, who’d had faith in James, who managed to shatter that barrier and free him.

He’d never told her that she was the flame that kept him going. When all seemed lost, when despair and numbness overcame him, it was that image he replayed in his mind. Not just because of her beauty, or their love, but because of her strength in that moment.

Cordelia didn’t know how many times James had borrowed that strength. Maybe one day, he’d actually tell her.

————————————————————

_daisy, don’t you know that you’re amazing?_  
_broken heart just keeps on breaking, daisy_

“Ah! Cordelia! Good morning, my dear, I have the most exciting news for y-” James abandoned his sentence as soon as he saw Cordelia’s face, impassive as he’d never seen it before.

Something was wrong. James shot to his feet, alarmed. “What-what happened?”

With a terrible simplicity, Cordelia said, clear and resigned, “I no longer wish to see you.”

“Cord-Cordelia? I, I don’t understand, surely there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I did wrong, let me apologize,” James pleaded, desperate to do something, anything to make the pain in her face go away.

Cordelia’s face hardened, lips tightening into a tense line. Wordlessly, she held up a piece of paper, and began to read aloud.

“Dearest Grace, I write to you with only joy… soon, we shall be happy… a bit longer, and our dreams shall come true…” Cordelia looked at him, and the numbness in her eyes was too much for him to bear. “Need I go on? James, you made me a promise not to be unfaithful in a _false_ marriage. I didn’t think that needed to be restated when you said you honestly loved me. Or was that unclear?”

James stared, open-mouthed. “Cordelia, please, let me explain-”

Cordelia shook her head with a bitter laugh, putting her hand up dismissively. James felt a horrible stab in his chest as she said, “Don’t even bother, James Herondale. We’re done. I do not deserve what you have put me through. Kindly assist me with arranging our divorce. It’s the least you can do to help.”

“Cordelia! Please, you don’t understand, that was before, it-it wasn’t, it wasn’t… like that?”

The cold fury in Cordelia’s eyes only intensified. “It wasn’t like what, James? You cannot even refrain from making that sound like a bloody _question_?”

James, frustrated, struggled to piece together words. “I thought- I didn’t really mean that, Cordelia, you have to understand.”

She stared at him, incredulous. “That’s the best you can do? Really?” Her shoulders slumped, and something in the gesture tore James apart, a wholly consuming helplessness worse than the sharpness of heartbreak.

She regarded him for a long moment, tears streaming down her face, as James stared back weakly. He wished he could explain, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, and he knew he’d just shattered Cordelia, beautiful, courageous Cordelia, in an irreparable way. He didn’t understand anything, really, how could he even begin to redeem himself? 

She left him there, falling to his knees, wrecked and despairing. In the home they would no longer share.

James remained in the same spot on the floor for hours. He was unseeing; unmoving as the sun rose, completely still even when the sky darkened and it was nighttime again.

He was irrevocably in love, and it was going to burn him inside out anyway: James might as well fight for the only woman he’d ever truly seen a future with.

————————————————————

_and I would take the light out of the stars to help you see  
anything to guide you straight to me_

“James, listen to me, stop!” Lucie ran in front of him, a pointless attempt to block his leaving the Institute.

“Leave me.”

Lucie gaped, dumbfounded. He’d never used such a rough tone with her before. James could be infuriating, yes, but he was always gentle with Lucie. _This_ James was freshly and deeply wounded. There was no telling what he might do, and Lucie sure as hell wasn’t about to let him leave alone.

She frantically looked around, desperate for a way to reason with him before he did something heedless and dangerous. Her gaze sharpened, focusing on her right where a stunning display of ornamental weapons stood.

Well, ornamental until now.

Lucie allowed herself a breath before plucking up a dagger and launching it into the hallway wall, exactly two inches from James’ cheekbone. Precisely where she’d aimed it.

He stopped in his tracks before turning around, immensely annoyed.

Lucie tilted her head to the side, squinting thoughtfully at the wall before straightening up. “Glad I made you train with me all that extra time, Jamie?”

It was his turn to gape. “Lucie Herondale.”

“Don’t you pull out the full name, James. Not your place, dear,” Lucie sang, with a wide, mocking smile she didn’t really feel.

James, his reckless anger dissipating, slumped down against the wall, burying his head down in his hands. Lucie retrieved her dagger and sat next to him, her expression softening.

James began to tremble, and Lucie felt a pang as she realized her brother needed someone to be strong for him. She knew it was all too much. The truth about the bracelet. What happened to Matthew. Belial’s newest plans. Lucie’s still-hidden secrets that had somehow saved them all.

Tears spilling silently down his face, James said to the ceiling, “What was _that_ little performance for? To stop me from doing what, exactly? What is it you think I could possibly do that would make it any worse?”

Lucie put her arm around James but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“Luce, I. I don’t know. Everything makes sense in the worst way. The ones I love need things I don’t know if I can give them. Matthew. Thomas. Anna. Cordelia-”

His voice broke the minute he said her name. Lucie’s heart ached for him, and for Cordelia. Love was never easy, she was learning.

James put his head down on Lucie’s shoulder, not even bothering to hide his sobs anymore. He cried wretchedly, chokingly; the horrible and pained sounds tore out of his throat like spasms. Lucie only tightened her grip, knowing that a stalwart support was the best thing she could offer him.

Long after he’d stopped, voice raw and cracking, the Herondales sat staring at the fire blazing away. Watching the crackling of the flames, Lucie said, very softly, “James. Go after her.”

He nodded, jaw clenched, and made to move, but Lucie stopped him, smacking his shoulder. “Not tonight, you fool,” she said, managing to get a feeble laugh out of him. “Really, James. Stay here. It won’t do you any good to go into this feeling- and looking- like Papa ran you over with that carriage he likes to steal from Uncle Gabriel.”

“Ah, the brave Lucinda, always ready to offend the Cruel Prince James.”

“It’s Lucretia,” Lucie scolded, but she was glad to see James was recovering a bit. “Either way, we both know you must rest and do some thinking before you go see her. You will tell her the truth, won’t you, James? After all, you say you love her. Show that you really mean it.”

“I do. By the angel, I’d seize the moon from the skies if she wanted it, if it could help her realize how I feel about her.”

Lucie smiled. “Then tell her just that.”

A silence passed between them. Not tense, but comfortable. Peace in the quiet.

“I never thought I’d live to see the day my little sister become such a wise old sage,” said James at last. “How do you know so much about love?” It was a teasing question rather than an actual one, but James was, in truth, a little curious.

“Do you really think so? Must be all that writing,” said Lucie lightly, but there was a touch of sadness in her eyes as she stared ahead at the fire.

James sighed and nodded, letting his head fall back onto her shoulder. He understood some things couldn’t be said out loud just yet. And though James was beginning to wonder just how much his sister was keeping away from him, it was unspoken between them. Tonight, neither would be alone in their suffering. They’d stay as long as they needed each other. James for Lucie and Lucie for James.

————————————————————

In the morning, Tessa, ever the early riser, stumbled upon James and Lucie asleep, both their faces tear-stained. Though she was troubled, and she wished she could be the support her children needed now, Tessa was grateful they had each other.

————————————————————

_let me show you how a kiss should taste  
trust me, I won’t give your heart away_

“Daisy?”

Nothing. Cordelia stood frozen, unable to move.

“Daisy?” James said again, all hope extinguished from his voice. “I know it is difficult to believe. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wish it. I only wished you to know the truth. I- I shall leave. And rest assured my presence shall not at all affect your relationship with Lucie,” he said, defeated, head hung low. “I… owe you that much, Cordelia.”

Cordelia took a dizzy step forward. And then another, and another, until she could see the faint scars on the back of his neck and feel the shake of his breathing.

James slowly lifted his head.

“Cordelia,” she said.

“What?”

“Say it again. Say my name again.”

James smiled, an irrepressible, exhilarated grin, and said proudly, “Cordelia. I love you.”

“I love you too, James,” Cordelia whispered, her voice hitching, and it was like a dam broke between them. She kissed him, fiery and trusting and most of all, relieved. Relieved that she could let him in anew. Relieved that they could face whatever the world threw at them, side-by-side, with this love unleashed between them like a flood.

————————————————————

_why you running, running when you got it right here?_  
_oh, I would love you if you let me in_

Cordelia, catching herself falling asleep, opened her eyes. Finding that James was looking at her, she laughed softly, and reached out a finger to trace his jaw. “What are you thinking about?”

James rolled over on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Just that, I never thought I’d find love like this. It was always my parents with the timeless love story, not me.” He smiled suddenly, bright in the darkness of the midnight hour, and turned back to Cordelia. “But I did. I found you, and it’s been the greatest joy of my life,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.

“James?”

He looked at her inquiringly. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere,” Cordelia said, understanding the reason he lay awake. Leaving her face open so he could read the unshakable trust in it, she continued, “You can go to sleep, and I’ll still be here in the morning. And you’ll still be here when I wake. Because that is what we do. We stay here for each other.”

“Always.”

A whisper in the dark, swallowed up by silence. A promise they’d fight forever to keep.

———————————————————

**Author's Note:**

> By now I’ve thought about Cordelia with an astonishing total of five different characters but this ship just got so much cuter when I had a perfect song for it. I really, really hope you liked this! Please let me know what you thought, and remember I’m always open to fic requests and suggestions! I'm @fairchild-squad on tumblr. <3
> 
> Final note: Tell me, was James’s description of Cordelia reminiscent of a deeply wronged lesbian intensely yearning for a woman she’s forbidden to love? am I projecting? draw your own conclusions, friends 


End file.
